Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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