Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
