Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
