? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize