why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
