garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
