What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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