im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
When are your genitals available?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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