You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
