Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
