i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
