Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
lets start a swedish sibling band together
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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