If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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