I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's always time for handjobs
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
