I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
