i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Randomize
