Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize