What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
