Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
