I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
