you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
