you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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