$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
