how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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