Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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