that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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