i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They have beer where we have blood.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
