I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize