I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
