i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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