I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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