Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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