before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
