she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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