Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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