in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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