My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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