what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
