is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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