First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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