Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
