It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
