This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
