how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
