Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize