If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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