it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
