the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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