Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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