Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
