I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize