genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
