More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize