Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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