So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
