Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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