So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
wow bdsm is so cute
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
