i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
