Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
