so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
