the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
