yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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